The conversations that ran through my head were
"It's a Monday, may be you did not exercise yesterday and gained all that weight back! So just step on so you're aware!"
I am so obsessed with the number that is on that scale!
Even though I have had a good week , the scale seems to be a place where I am still scared!
It still gives me the goose bumps before standing on the scale.
I am not sure, if this feeling will ever go.
I am scared ....that I will go back to my old ways again, of eating all the possible processed food and my body then will give in.
I know I have a long way to go... I want to make friends with the scale.
I have spent a decade in playing hide and seek with the scale
My mind always say this to me
In yesterday's meeting the leader asked us to write down-
How bad we want this?
For me I think, I have wanted this for the longest of time, ever since I gained weight back in 2001-2002.
I have spent over a decade searching a way to loose all that I gained.
I want this so badly, I am ready to do whatever it takes to change things, and I can really see that happening.
Why do you want this?
I will be 40 years old next January!
My bones having started to hurt, the knees are hurting , my back is hurting.
I want to be able to live a long HEALTHY life.
I want to be there to help my kids .
The number on the scale does matter to me atleast at this point of my journey!
Here's hoping it gets better.