I've been ABSENT in my own life ..................
I've been Depressed !
Super depressed about so many things!
About the fact that I do not have a BIG house,
About the fact that I still do not have a PERMENANT job and am still on CONTRACT position
About the fact that life seems so incredibly HARD for me
About the fact that I do not have the reason for the question WHY ME?
About the fact that I HATE the fact aside from my kids and work I do not have any LIFE
About the fact that I have let myself slip weight wise.
Thankfully not too too much damage has been made!
I went to bed at 10 pm on NYE --yes 10 pm while the kids and hubby were still up,, cause I was TOO upset that we did not go PARTY anywhere!
I am a PARTY animal or so I remember in my life before having kids.
I miss my LIFE , I am not sure how or IF I will get it back.
and when I see other friends and family having all the FUN in the world and secretly wish it was my life, I know social media doesn't help in such times!
So I decided to take a break from Facebook, will be more active on Instagram,
My resolution for this year is
Zero Junk Food
30 minutes exercise 5 days a week
Blog 3 times a week
100 happy days
I need to be HAPPY ! Honestly though inside me I FEEL I do NOT DESERVE to be HAPPY
and That hurts a LOT-the fact that I feel I don't deserve it cause may be I sinned in my past life or something I'm not sure if all this is making any sense.!
I know I am all over the place but that is how I feel right now!
I am sorry to ruin your positive train,if you're on that roll all power to you , and I will understand if you do not want to follow me anymore!